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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Growing Old

The following is a post I wrote 2 weeks before Kylie was born in Sept 2012, don't have time to post it till now:

Now that I have a son and soon a daughter in two weeks, I found that my thinking has changed significantly.  Parenthood allows me to see in a new perspective with a different pair of lens. I used to listen to my parents' advice a lot. But in these years, I come to realized that my parents, like all others, inevitably have many flaws and their advice is affected by their own experience.  I am not disappointed in any ways, rather, I feel a sense of independence. Parental advices, even at their best interest, need to be filtered because ultimately I am responsible for the decisions I made, the joy as well as pain in the season of life.

Another interesting realization is when I get old, how will I take care of myself?  The other day I was searching for nursing homes around my neighborhood. I am just curious how much it costs and what's the living condition. Live with my children? Assisted living in senior housing? How about nursing home? Do we have enough money for retirement? All these questions suddenly become realistic to me.  I told Vincent that if he gets too old to a point that I can't take care of him, we can both admit ourselves to a nursing home and we can still live together.

My world is constantly evolving. I once heard a saying "growing old gracefully". Well, I can't imagine myself being graceful, but gaining some wisdom along the way? Not a bad idea.

Summer's Footprint:


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Home Runs

My British passport will soon be expired and I have been dragging to engage in this renewal process.  A high tendency of filling out forms incorrectly in the past, fake smiling my passport pictures which will stuck with me for the next 10 years, oh, and lining up at the stale looking post office to certify the mail, bla bla bla-just countless reasons I don't want to start at all.

When I finally picked up the pen to fill out the form, there was an interesting section that required countersignature to verify that the passport photo I took was in fact my real person. Moreover, the person who could countersign this passport photo has to be someone who was "Professionally qualifying person, e.g. lawyer, school teacher, policeman, doctor, engineer" First, I didn't understand why all the fuss over just renewing a passport. Second, I wondered how many professionally qualifying people out there are really happy with what they are doing? Are these their dream jobs or they're simply indulging the prestige these jobs bring forth?

For those who are close to me, my dream job is to become a Starbuck Bearista.  I found that brewing coffee requires intricate knowledge and patience. As my years advancing, I come to accept that my interpersonal skill is not my strongest area. Per Vincent someone said, I am kind of slow in processing, non-responsive at times,  and somehow inappropriate things or blunt comments just burst out from my mouth, I thought maybe some kind of customer service oriented job will help improve my communication skill. However, due to my international student status as well as my work visa after I graduated, this dream was almost impossible for me to achieve. Before I was pregnant with my second child, I once logged into the Starbuck website trying to apply for a position. But because I filled out the online form incorrectly (not surprised, hah!), I was logged out of the system and restricted to reapply for 3 months. Well well, the time will come. One day I will bring a cup of warm hearted coffee to someone in the mist of a busy day, with pleasure.

Summer's Footprint

Keke is a big fan of Elmo and I become very familiar with some of the sesame music.  One of the song "Believe in Yourself" with Ray Charles is Keke and my favorite. Ray witnessed his brother's death when he was 4 years old. He started to lose eye sight at age 5. By age 7, his eyesight was completely gone. His father died when he was 10 years old, followed by his mother 5 years later. Although personal tragedies were never far, he strived to become one of the most recognizable musician of all time.  Life throws hard balls sometimes, but you just have to learn to swing and hit home runs with them.

Believe in Yourself

Oh you can be what you want to be,
See what you want to see,
Believe in yourself,
Believe in yourself.

Go where you want to go,
Do what you want to do
Believe in yourself,
Believe in yourself.

Some folks try to tell you there are things you shouldn't do
You're not strong enough or smart enough at all,
But what seems right to them quite often
Might be wrong for you,
So be sure you try to climb
Before you get too scared you fall.

Oh, you can be what you want to be,
Learn what you want to learn,
Believe in yourself,
Believe in yourself.

Try what you need to try,
No one should question why,
Believe in yourself,
Believe in yourself.

Folks may say you're different,
That you've gone and lost your senses,
But the world is yours to walk in,
Go ahead and leap the fences.

And you'll see,
Believe in yourself 
And the world belongs to you and me

Monday, May 14, 2012

This Time Around

Can't believe I will be almost half way of my pregnancy.  Time surely flies with my belly getting bigger and bigger each week. For those I cannot tell you in person, YES, I am pregnant and the due date is 10/3, but we'll try to schedule a c-section 1 week before, so probably around 9/27. (and the gender is............ at the end of this post)

Another baby, another trial. Don't want to think too much, I guess I can never be fully prepared. Who am I kidding? It's a miracle Keke survives with all my parental mistakes and mishap to be honest. This time the pregnancy seems a lot more easier compare to the first one.  So far, I am not all swollen up, not gaining as much weight as last time. Finger cross, please don't go back to the HELLP syndrome that I had last time. HELLP syndrome is a group of symptoms that occur in pregnant women who have H -- hemolysis, EL -- elevated liver enzyme, LP -- low platelet count. I was diagnosis with HELLP in my last OB check up at 37 weeks (everything was normal until the last week), was rushed to the hospital to perform an emergency c-section to get Keke out in order to prevent me from having seizure and liver failure which can be life threatening. The whole episode was still like yesterday to me.  The nurse counted 1,2, 3 and I'm out. Next thing I knew was Vincent telling me the baby was born, but I thought I was dreaming at that time so I kept asking him "Is this over?" incoherently. Then I slept more with nurses coming in and out to take blood pressure and seizure level every hour. The next day, I finally held Keke in my arms, while my head was still spinning "What had just happened?"

Because last time I was under general anesthesia to deliver Keke, I did not participate the entire delivery process. To me, it's more like Keke just suddenly pop out from nowhere. Albeit this is my second pregnancy, I am still an amateur in so many ways. My prayer is that I can make it to full term with no complications this time around.

Summer's Footprint

When you are pregnant or breastfeeding, you may have questions about environmental exposures such as paint fumes, over the counter and prescription medications and more. I know I am. I found OTIS ( organization of teratology information specialists) very helpful in answering all of my questions. Their number is 877) 311-8972 and the website is Hope this little piece of information serves some moms well.

Finding this picture funny, poor mom.

Girl :)